Why don't you just buy a bike then and move to Japan!?

I'll always remember that insult... It made absolutely no sense. There was this kid at a robotics competition and I kept hinting at him to introduce me to the lovely lady they had working on their team. He went on this big tirade that they were best friends and he didn't appreciate me hitting on her. I really wasn't being mean to her though. She was a very cute asian girl and had some sort of retro tin robot pin. Probably derived from some god awful anime but the general idea of vintageness turned me on. I went on arguing with the kid.

"At least tell me her name yeah?"
"NO GO AWAY WE NEED TO GET READY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!"

Meanwhile he was frantically digging through toolboxes while 4 or so middle aged engineers scribbled abstract figures on a white board. She was sitting there by herself. I told her I liked her pin. She said her boyfriend was riding around on a bike with their flag. That stupid guy flashed in to my head. I remember seeing him earlier in the day. I started to devise ways of harassing him now... but he had a bike. I thought about throwing tools in the spokes, but the thought of him flying through the air and being impaled on a piece of scrap aluminum tubing kept running through my head. That probably would have disqualified us from the tournament.

I went back to harassing her "best" friend. It soon became apparent that he was the straggler that latched on to her just waiting for things to go bad with the boyfriend. Which I can't blame him. She was cute and worth the insane amount of heartache day in and day out he must have felt.

"Cmoooon. She's really cute and she has a tin robot pin! I lvoe vintage Japanese stuff like that."
"Why don't you move to Japan then!"
"I don't know she seems to be into guys on bikes..."
"Why don't you just buy a bike then and move to Japan!?"

Shit. He had me beat. How was I supposed to respond to that!?
I stood there a minute. Calmly collected myself. And walked away.

Thus returning to my 2'x 2' square of gutted robot innards.

I don't know what sent that tear down my face. The scrap metal in my god damn eye or the broken heart I had.