Just when you thought North Korea couldn't get any cooler.

Anyong. God only knows why this stupid picture makes me think of Laughlin. In my defense though North Korea and Laughlin ARE pretty similar.

So apparently some engineers in North Korea thought it would be a great idea to model a huge ass building after a paper airplane... that has three wings. Finding a funny analogy for this thing is impossible because I've already read the ludicrousness of this buildings end result. Not even I could end up with the actual funny conclusion. Before I go in to a rambling monologue, this thing is incredibly unsafe.

Now a vacant 105 story eye rape, this building does nothing but what I assume, strike fear in to Koreans. Filled with what I think is Nuclear Warheads a short educational video re-enforced my hellish thoughts.

Just skip to the one minute mark for laughs until the 1:30 sends you in to hysteria.

Yeah. Missiles. NORTH KOREA WANTS TO LOAD IT WITH MISSILES.

In the video the thing just gets loaded up with rockets and takes off in to space thus saving the day. What they don't show you is the ultimate Death Star capabilities. Some chick in the original article compared to the Death Star. However the Death Star is round and she's a stupid stupid idiot. In all actuality I had written this article last night. And it was perfect. However bloggers auto save function shafted me in the ass and went all retroactive and sheet.

So here's how a clear day in Sunny North Korea REALLY looks like

My girlfriend kind of looks like my girlfriend

I've noticed a disturbing trend lately... Every girl I like has at least one trait of an ex girlfriend. This doesn't sound too bad except for the fact it's usually the feature we had broken up over. Ranging from one side of the Angel spectrum it's not that bad, but it's that opposite of the girls straight from hell that will kill me some day.

Without going in to much detail about girls and alienating most my audience... or just Doan. See that? I just alienated almost everyone through a statement saying I wouldn't alienate anyone.

Somebody pay me for this please.

Sooooo. College Algerbra in about 2 hours. I used to love Tuesdays. Now I just dread the 12 hour break between classes. It's a bizzare transition too between the hardest class I've ever taken to the worst class I've ever taken. I'm currently 0-1 on MAT 105. Hopefully I pass it this time around. Rather than ya know... Fail it.

I can't find any inspiration for anything at the moment. Besides the fact i've been killing ants all day. Not even regular ants, but zombie ants. With a lack of ant spray I have been reduced to simply smashing them with a bottle cap. There's a crunch that goes along with smashing ants and it's sort of satisfying. Thinking the end result was going to be this surge of adrenaline I now sit here with just a bunch of dead ants on my wall.

If you look close enough you might be able to see the ants.



I hate ants...

Does this Fatso Jetson make me look fat?

Fatso Jetson is an amazing Desert/Surf rock band whose musical styles, on paper, clash so much your head can't help but feel like the Gaza Strip. However the actual sound is so surreal and fitting that it sounds like Dick Dale had been reincarnated in Palm Desert. That is if Dick Dale was dead and all the other things wrong in that statement were corrected. The beauty of Fatso Jetson is the versatility. From a piss drunk bar band to an intricate meld of drug induced guitar rifts.

Now why all this teenage girl ranting? Because i'm hoping to get a free meal from their resturant Cafe 322. Plus I had to set up the awesomeness of their music with the awesomeness of this new game that's being passed around my dorm like the two cent whore it is.

Audiosurf sounds like something you would use to download music, but it is actually a new game developed with magic. I can bet you that the development team alone is composed of Leprechauns and cheap Korean Unicorns. Not that I have anything against Unicorns.

Style alone makes this game different from your typical mainstream Guitar Hero or Gaylo 3. See what I did thar?

Like some sort of highway to Tron hell the courses are created by the game analyzing any song you can throw at it. Whatever CD you have, Mp3, WMA, or god forbid Itunes music you actually bought, can be implemented into an acid trip on the Autobahn.

While the actual concept of the game is still a blur to me, I've been able to comprehend that there's more than one game mode. Some modes are a blitz game of Tetris while others simply just have you avoid the gray blocks

I sort of like the avoidance of gray blocks... that's about it basically.

Sound is great, colors are great, replay ability is great, but it kind of gets bleh pretty quickly. I could just be saying that because I don't even understand half the game. However its beautiful hook let out pretty easy so I could do my Modern Fiction HW, which is a bad thing.

William Faulkner's Barn Burning was good. It just wasn't trippy and 3D.

Seriously AudioSurf should have won the peace prize in 1948 instead of Faulkner.

See I did my Homework.

¡Viva los Dog!

I'm not sure how I feel on the subject of Bounty Hunting other than Boba Fett was a bad ass and went out like a bitch. However there's one other Bounty Hunter who comes to mind in the other 10% of life where I can't think of Star Wars, Duane "Dog" Chapman. So there was this whole thing going on where I remember he went down to Mexico to go get some rapist or something that owed him a million dollars.

However my mind wanders... Seriously Boba Fett could have had that shit easily. Just like fly past customs, shoot his little zip line thing, pull bitches back past the border. And how does Fett end up dying in last movie? By getting knocked in the back into some stupid sand pit.

Ok so The Dog goes down to Mexico, shoots his little zip line thing, and pulls this bitch back across the border. And everyones happy, except Mexico. Mexico blows its load and starts complaining that they don't believe in Bounty Hunting and that the U.S. needs to send Dog back so he can rot away in a Mexican jail with Sancho.

I'm all for Mexico. Beautiful country, beautiful culture, beautiful women... However you'll probably never find me down there without a native because fucking up in Mexico is only my biggest fear other than spiders. My short lived tourist escapades in Mexico are enough to fear the federallis. Between buying coke from cab drivers to nearly getting jumped for my two dollars and high school ID card, Mexico has been exciting but holds an air of rebellion.

Josh in Palmdale shares NO similarities with Josh from Puerto Vallarta.

Other than my boyish charm I seem to dissolve into a puddle of assholes. Ordering around women on a cruise ship is not something to add on my resume' but it also seems to come out of me at hotel parties...

Rather to make this a post about parties and failed attempts at courting girls I should probably end it how I began.

I'm glad that Boba Fett isn't getting deported to Mexico.

He's eh cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything


Yeah photoshop is not that hard once you spend twenty minutes erasing pixels at 900% zoom.

P.S. Dog is not being shipped back to Mexico. News story... HERE

P.S.S. I'm working on a really big article that will boost this blog into the likes of Perez Hilton status. If not just in to the same category with fat gay guys.

Everything in my life revolves around Barstow

I used to like time stamping everything I ever wrote at the beginning. Now I realize it just makes me look like an asshole. A slow typing one at that. Not going to lie, I've always bashed the blog scene. In my mind the only thing I can see is some douche documenting his day. From the type of cereal he ate in the morning to whatever god forsaken prime time television show he last watched. Joe's adventures in eating Fruity Pebbles to watching Alias re-runs never sparked interest.

Now the part where I'm a hypocrite.

At age 13 I distinctly remember having a Xanga...

Xanga was the embodiment of teen angst, for me at least.

Every stupid thing I did ended up as an entry. On August 18th you would probably find me writing about the Captain Crunch I had that morning and the re-runs of Pete and Pete I idolized till' sleep. My first ride in a time machine would be to go back to August 17th and kill me in my sleep. Therefore I could not experience that day let alone write about it. Although that would inadvertently jeopardize my existence in the future, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

Thank god Xanga these days is nothing but race obsessed Joshua Stepps arguing whether Jesus was black or not
http://search.xanga.com/searchxanga.aspx?q=Joshua%20Stepp

Don't ask.

So the creation of this is merely a way to kill time. Remarkably once you do your homework in college you seem to come up on a lot more free time. Basically because you spend a lot less time making nooses out of cheap yellow rope.